Top 5 things I am sick of reading about the Super Bowl

1. [Insert zoo animal here] makes Super Bowl pick by scratching, clawing, peeing, or crapping at some random circle of items that is supposed to represent this year's opposing teams.

2. [Insert player] outrages opponents by believing that his team will win. Seriously, is this not the most overplayed story of all time? Does any player arrive at the Super Bowl believing that he'll lose? (Ok, except for everyone on the 1985 Patriots.)

3. List of ridiculous questions asked during this year's media day. Yes, the media is, by and large, stupid, and asks stupid questions when they know that if they ask a stupid question someone will write about it and print their name. Breaking news.

4. Anything having to do with Tom Brady, Tom Brady's foot, Tom Brady's hotness, Tom Brady's hot girlfriends, Tom Brady's hot ex-girlfriend who is also the mother of his child.

5. Anything about Bill Belichick that does not mention that he is a wife-stealing dirtbag.