Monday, April 30, 2007

Wherein that word does not mean what you think it means

The news headline reads: "President Bush indicates willingness to work with Democrats on Iraq." And I think to myself, hot dog, the man has finally come around. No more stubbornness! No more threats to veto. And then I read the article, and I think, oh, not so much:

Bush said that once he vetoes the bill, he's ready to work with Democrats on a new version that provides funds without strings attached.

Ah. So, "work with Democrats" apparently translates to "will veto their bill and then insist on them giving him exactly the bill he wants." Where in that do we deduce that he wants to "work with Democrats"? Come on! Is it too much to ask that the grand wizards who write the headlines and the grand wizards who write the copy occasionally talk with each other and get the stories straight?

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Casual Headline Alert

Today's ultra-casual headline comes to us courtesy KATU news in Portland. It concerns the Portland tram, which has generated much local controversy. It's a long story, but essentially the gist is this: a major research hospital in town was running out of parking space, and so it convinced the city to build it a tram running from offices down on the river up to the hospital. The city told the public it would cost $18 million, and it ended up costing $54 million. To make matters worse, the tram rides right over a whole neighborhood, giving tram-riders an intimate view on the goings on below. So, one local resident got ticked off and made a banner to display his displeasure. Ok. Anyway, long story, like I said. But our esteemed local news folks apparently decided to write the most laid-back headline ever for this story. Observe:

"Guy?" "F-bomb?" "Beef?" Good lord.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Least Funny Movie Ever

There are lots of challengers for the title of the Least Funny Movie in World History. There is, of course, "Schindler's List." There's "Ghandi." There's "The Godfather, Part III." (True, Sophia Coppola's performance was unintentionally hilarious, but does that count?) However, today comes word from the magic factory that is Hollywood that, within a few months, the competition will be over...forever. Take it away, Hollywood Reporter:

Robin Williams has signed on to star opposite John Travolta in "Old Dogs," a Walt Disney Co. comedy being directed by Walt Becker. Also joining the cast is Travolta's wife, Kelly Preston, and daughter, Ella Travolta.

"Dogs" is a buddy comedy revolving around two best friends and business partners whose lives are turned upside down when they find themselves in the care of 7-year-old twins."

Robin Williams? Check. Travolta? Check. Annoying kids? Yeah, TWO. Shouldn't Cuba Gooding be in this thing? Honestly, it looks that bad.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Name, explained

This blog isn't two minutes old, and already I hear you crying to the rafters: Yo, what does "Pregnant Cornbread" mean? To that we turn to legendary comedian, star of "Fat Bitch" and "Who Dat Ninja," Tracy Jordan/Morgan.