Wednesday, November 7, 2007

"So, Dave, why don't you allow comments on your blog?"

Ok, this is a fairly common question, one that shows up in my email with some degree of regularity. And, for the most part, my answer is something like "well, if I did that, then the ___% of my day that I devote to blogging (some reading, some writing) would increase by a factor of 5 as I spent volumes of time sitting around responding to various comments about something I've said."

I'd have to answer charges from crazy Mitt Romney supporters (is there any other kind?) that I've insulted the Moroni Man himself; I'd have to respond to 9udy 11uliani fans that he's actually more than 9/11 and MARRYING HIS COUSIN AND STAYING MARRIED TO HER FOR 14 YEARS EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE COUSINS AND ISN'T THAT FREAKY; and I'd have to answer to the occasional Angelina Jolie or Tom Brady fan who wandered in here from God knows where and is now hot and bothered over me calling their chosen idol a selfish piece of narcissistic idiocy.

But, thanks to a recent post I did on swingers in Portland, I have a whole new reason. A few weeks back I did a short--and at the time I thought unimportant--post about the name change of a local skeezoid swing joint, one I drive past every day on the way to work. The name of the place is now "Angel's Sensuous Social Club," a name that I think--as I pointed out in my post--is pretty nasty. "Sensuous," for starters, is near the top of the "if you hear a guy use the word ______, run away" list that I will give to my daughter when she turns 16. But here's the thing--I have been deluged (not literally, figuratively) by people coming to this blog looking for the name of that swing club. There have been hundreds of them. From everywhere. Russia, India, Iran (yep), Gresham, Poulsbo, Manitoba, Dusseldorf, Vancouver (WA and BC), and points between. You name it, they want to know about the happenings at this swing club.

But--and I can't stress this enough--I have NO idea what goes on in there. I don't want to know. I won't listen if someone wants to tell me. So I fear that if I had comments up, the comments for that particular post would be full of nasty swingers talking to other nasty swingers about the nasty things they like to do whilst swinging. (It's not that I'm necessarily opposed to nasty things, just that...well, I've seen a few swingers in my day. Ugh. Say no more.)

So, short answer to the above question is: because I don't want my blog to be full of the comments of swingers telling each other which robes and lotions they'll be wearing to their next "party," and where their van conversion got that sweet shag carpeting, and god knows what else. So, no comments for the foreseeable future.