ESPN: Opportunity missed!

ESPN's John Clayton, writing about the New England Patriots' extensive off-season upgrades, writes the following:

But few can criticize the Patriots' approach. They have treated free agency like Tom Brady treats __________

Treats what? Here are some suggestions:

1) Impregnating models/actresses?
2) Standing around like a preening moron?
3) Making horrendous fashion choices?

No, sadly, the actual answer is "two-minute situations." Boooo! Boring!