In other news, I will never be obese...

Finally, news that directly affects me. For years my friends and enemies have remarked with great frequency that I tend to fidget. This was especially true in college: I'd finish dinner/lunch well ahead of my friends, and then would sit at the table and fidget until they were done. I'd look around, play with the silverware, assemble crude wax figurines out of candle meltings, and so forth. I wasn't even really aware that I was doing it, but my friends were. They mocked me for it, but once again science has vindicated me, and my ultimate reward will be laughing at them as their non-fidgeting selves get hugely and morbidly obese! Score! Take it away, BBC:

Are you the type of person who is constantly fidgeting - playing with pencils and pieces of paper, your legs jumping around under the office desk as you type?

If you are there is a chance fidgeting may be in your genes - and the good news is that you are less likely to be fat, according to the new research.

...

Lead researcher Prof Mathias Treier says those who do fidget are getting valuable daily exercise even without knowing it.

"We're spending energy by doing that - and this is of course one of the key factors in energy balance," he says.

Sweet, sweet justice.

By the way, BBC, nice file photo you chose to run with this one. Ugh.